How do you like your new job?

Writing screenplays is fun.

And hard.  And frustrating.  And exhausting.

If you hope to ever see one of those screenplays turned into a movie, then it’s also your new job.

“But Allen, I already have two jobs.  And two kids.  And two dogs…”

Well, now you have three jobs.  And you should probably have another kid and get another dog, just to keep it consistent.  Either way, you should know that writing a screenplay is hard, writing a good screenplay is much harder, selling that screenplay is improbable, and seeing it turned into a movie is pretty close to impossible.

I’m not telling you this to discourage you or bum you out.  Anyone who’s finished a script knows how gratifying it feels, and most of us couldn’t stop writing even if we wanted to because the voices in our heads won’t let us.  I’m just saying that you have to do everything you possibly can to tilt the odds in your favor, and the most important thing you can do is treat writing like a job.

A job with no benefits and no pay.  Just stress, deadlines, and unappreciative customers.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to bum you out again.

Hopefully you love your job, but the truth is, most people don’t.  They suck it up and do what they have to because they need the money for rent, bills, and a watch with apps in it.

So, what exactly does it mean to treat writing like a job?

1.  You go to work when you don’t feel like it.

If you’re reading a blog about screenwriting, I’m guessing you love to write.  I’m also guessing that whether you want to admit it or not, there are a lot of times when you find excuses NOT to write.  It’s not just you.  It’s beautiful outside.  The laundry is piling up.  This is the golden age of television.  So you do something else instead of writing, and you promise to get back to it tomorrow, and every once in a while you actually do.  But if writing was your job, you wouldn’t blow it off.  You’d show up, put in your hours, and daydream about being at the beach, in clean clothes, watching Game of Thrones on your iPhone.  If you treated writing like your job, you’d force yourself to stare at a computer screen for at least a few hours at least five days a week, and I bet you’d get at least one good line out of it.  And if you’re a writer, you know that one good line is worth being pale, stinky, and oblivious to any midseason finale plot twist.  Most importantly, it puts you one step closer to finshing your screenplay, which puts you one step closer to reaching your goal.

2.  You deal with people you don’t want to deal with.  And you pretend to like them.

If you’ve ever had a job, you know there’s nothing worse than dealing with co-workers you don’t like.  Except for dealing with customers.  They’re the worst.  But you do it because it’s your job.  Well, screenplays are not sold in a vacuum.  Also, screenplays about vacuums are not sold, so if you’re going that route, I would rethink it.  Actually, I take it back, now I really want to watch your movie about vacuums.  Anyway, if you’re going to sell your script, vacuums or not, you’re going to have to show it to people.  Agents, editors, producers. etc.  Some of them will be dismissive, condescending, and suggest changes that even they know are incredibly shortsighted and absurd.  And you’ll listen to them.  And you’ll smile.  And you might have to make those changes.  Because writing is your job, and like it or not, they can help you reach your goal.

3.  You don’t quit until you get a better job.  Or you retire.  Or die.

You can’t quit your job just because it can be unpleasant, and mind-numbing, and it seems like a dead-end.  I mean, you can.  You can do whatever you want.  You can go off the grid, and make a hat out of leaves, and finally use that nice tent you bought.  But you shouldn’t quit writing.  You shouldn’t stop trying to write the perfect script, and sell it, and sit in a theater giggling uncontrollably when it debuts on the big screen.  If you quit, you’ll never know if you could’ve reached your goal.  You love to write, so you might as well push as hard as you can, and see if you can make that impossible dream come true.

You can do it if you treat writing like a job.

Just don’t steal my vacuum idea.