Movies – Is there anything they don’t know?

cubs-win

The last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, feature length films were a couple years old. It’s comforting to know that the Little Bears are finally going to do it again. I know this because of a certain feature film called Back to the Future Part II.

Since the sometimes-maligned-but-I-love-it sequel – also known as “BTTF2” to those in the know – accurately predicted the creation of hoverboards (cuz they’re real now, right?), we can only assume that the movie knows who’s going to win the Series this year. When the Cubs clinched a playoff berth a couple weeks ago, sh*t got real. And now that Chicago just advanced to the next playoff round, there should be no doubt.

Movies know everything that’s going to happen. EVERYTHING. Not just the obvious stuff either, like China Syndrome and Three Mile Island. Glimpses into what will be are sprinkled throughout filmdom like so many lembas breadcrumbs on Samwise Gamgee.

Blade Runner’s inclusion of the Atari logo said, “Yes, dammit. This company will be around forever.” Despite an attempt to sink its own ship with the landfill-destined E.T. game, Atari has managed to hang on through various mergers and buyouts (I believe they’re now owned by a company in Sri Lanka or something). So the future noir masterpiece knew it… although LA better get going on that massive pyramid if they’re planning to have it ready for 2019.

Remember the Johnny Cab? Total Recall knew Google Chauffeur was only a matter of time.

If you watch Tom Cruise get his retina scanned in Minority Report you’ll hear a peculiar *bjink!* sound. Five years after the movie came out the iPhone debuted, along with that same *bjink!* every time you plugged the phone in. And we didn’t have to wait until 2054 to hear it in real life.

In Fahrenheit 451, books were banned in the future. I don’t get out much so I rely on my wife to tell me what people do these days. Since she started reading a Kindle she says that she can’t go back to books. I can only assume that means that books have been outlawed. I already miss those days of pairing a good Harlequin paperback with a bubble bath.

Then there’s the 1956 version of 1984. Boy they nailed it. Just look at the movie poster:

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See? Ecstasy is a Schedule I controlled substance that’s illegal today. Bam.

In the original Rollerball, James Caan and the upper crust donned the hippest wardrobes. Rollerball knew that the 70s reached the peak of fashion and eventually designers of the future would realize it. We’re already there. People mocked bell bottoms back in the 80s, but they reemerged. And just one look at my own closet will show you that polyester never died. I have enough flammable content to rival the carpet bombing shot in the opening of Apocalypse Now.

Now admittedly, Demolition Man’s prognostication of every restaurant being a Taco Bell hasn’t come to fruition… yet. With taco shells being made of Doritos and the growing number of combo restaurants in the form of Taco Bell/KFC/Pizza Hut/Carl’s Jr/PF Chiang, it’s only a matter of time.

So never deny the power of foresight that futuristic movies can bring to bear. They’re my guide to planning for a secure future. Thanks to BTTF2, I put my entire savings on Chicago back in April. At 16-1 odds, I should be walking away with a cool $80 come early November.

 

Incidentally, the entire Back to the Future trilogy will be playing one night only at select Cinemark theaters. Check the interwebs for a theater near you.

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